9 Things Special Needs Parents Require
Nearly 8% of children and young people under the age of 18 have some form of disability.
Add to that the many more school-age children that have a special need not recorded as a disability and you have to wonder why we call them special needs when it’s so commonplace.
Special needs parents have extra parental pressures and sometimes need superhuman strength. Read on to learn what these normal people need to thrive as special parents.
1. More Time
Every parent sometimes feels that they don’t have time to fit everything in.
Balancing work, home life, childcare, and everything else in life can feel exhausting. There’s a whole industry around mindfulness, work-life balance, and wellbeing that exists because of this modern misfortune.
Add to that the pressures of caring for a special needs child.
A special needs parent not only has PTO meetings, schools social events, and making sure homework is completed. They also have Individual Education Plan meetings, extra medical and therapy appointments and there’s more.
When a special needs child wants to pursue an extra-curricular activity such as a sport or dancing, they might need a special needs provider. They are not likely to live in the neighborhood.
That means extra drive time.
The time management skills special needs parents learn make top business executives look lazy and disorganized. Even so, it’s tough to plan in time to make your partner feel loved or to remind your friends that you are a regular fun person too.
2. More Money
The CEO of Source Financial Advisors, Michelle Smith describes the cost of care for her child with Down syndrome as around the cost of a year at college. Not just for one year, but every year of her life.
The money needs are greater for a special needs parent.
There are always extra things your child needs like therapies, adaptations to your home, or special equipment. There’s extra running around to appointments and for special services and this means the transport and fuel costs are higher than for most families.
While many families find that both parents need to work to support the family in the case of special needs parents this might not be so easy to do. The care needs of a special needs child can mean one or even both of the parents have to take on care responsibilities.
This means they can’t work full-time or even at all.
With extra costs and less earning ability, money worries are yet another difficulty faced by special needs parents. Sometimes, the only comfort is that there is precious little time to worry.
Parents get on with it and try to cope somehow.
3. A Support Network
Having a support network to supplement the care the special needs parents give is very important. The support network can include grandparents, the wider family, friends, and help in the community.
The support network must be made up of people who understand what special needs parents need. Well-meaning but misguided help is more trouble than it’s worth.
Inviting special needs parents to participate in an expensive event without thought of the cost or childcare implications might feel inclusive but is more likely to exclude them. Friends who can lend a hand doing household chores occasionally are a real boon.
It can make the difference between falling apart and getting through the week.
There are also professional support services that make a difference in the lives of special needs parents.
Educational and medical professionals whose perspective is broader than just the special needs child provide holistic support.
Making sure the parent’s needs are met goes a long way towards making sure the special needs child’s needs are met too.
4. To Ask for Help
Coping is what special needs parents do. They get by. They muddle through, somehow.
With all the pressure to do their best for their special needs child, they may also have other children, parents, and others demanding attention. It’s sometimes hard to ask for help.
It may be that a special needs parent feels that asking for help would be a sign of weakness. It could feel like a dereliction of duty or a sign that they can’t cope.
If they are under continual pressure to cope, then it can be a big psychological problem to open up about their need for help. Encouraging a special needs parent to ask for help could be a huge help in itself.
Perhaps they could have some more medical professional help if only they asked.
Perhaps they could better support their child’s development if only they asked the educational professionals for some help. It’s possible that asking family and friends to help could provide them with some time out for rest and relaxation.
5. Self Care
While special needs parents are often great at looking after others the last person they take care of is themselves.
They make sure that their special needs child gets the care and attention they need, even if that is a heavy burden. They get that siblings can feel left out so they make time for them and give them attention.
The special needs parent may not leave themselves much time for self-care. They are often at the bottom of the priority list.
Meals are taken on the run. Sleep is inadequate. Some personal time or time for a little romance is non-existent and even laughable.
Everybody needs these things. All the more so if a special needs parent is to continue to function effectively and deliver the standard of care they would want to.
Some simple things can make a difference.
Ten minutes of downtime every day can make a difference. When a friend takes over so the special needs parent can have a quiet cup of coffee or a few minutes reading a book they can feel human again.
Doing things with others can also be a great way of taking the pressure off. Playdates or a walk in the park with another parent can be a release. Trading childcare time can also release an under-pressure parent to go to a yoga class or the gym.
Family help can be as simple as bringing a nutritious meal around once a week. Healthy food is all the more beneficial when you haven’t had to find the time to prepare it.
6. Normal Friends
Special needs parents may feel isolated. Their care responsibilities can take much of their time up. What contact they have with others can sometimes be orientated around their special needs child.
Contact with health and education professionals can be invaluable but it’s limited.
Other adult company can sometimes be limited to the parents of other special needs children or arise out of other childcare scenarios. They don’t give much relief or diversion from everyday tasks.
Having some friends who are not involved in special needs care can be a great boost.
The topics of conversation and the shared interests can be sports, celebrity gossip, can or a glass of wine. These are some of the things other parents get to do but special needs parents seem to miss out on.
Having some friends who don’t want to share stories about poor special educational need resources or particular therapies is so good. This takes a little time out of the busy schedule but the energy boost and improved wellbeing are well worth it.
7. Date Nights
On the subject of well-being, time with your partner is essential to maintain a strong bond. This bond may be what gets you through the physical and emotional demands of special needs parenting. It’s worth maintaining.
Arranging a sitter for special needs children is not that easy. It may be difficult and expensive to get properly qualified or trained sitters to cope with the special needs of a particular child.
A family member or a trusted friend could provide date night sitting if they are able to provide the right care. The result is parents can have a night out, some intimacy with their partner, and a chance to maintain the bond.
8. Health and Well-being
We are all being bombarded with advice about maintaining our health and wellbeing.
We are all supposed to be doing more push-ups and yoga and eating less processed food. It’s hard enough to do if you don’t have special needs parenting responsibilities.
Health and wellbeing are important. it’s all the more important for parents with extra pressures. Special needs parents need to take exercise and eat the right things.
Caring for a special needs child can be hugely stressful. Exercise is an effective way of reducing the effects of stress. There are both physical and psychological benefits.
Nutrition is also hugely important for good health and wellbeing. Maintaining energy levels, reducing infections, and avoiding depression and anxiety are some of the benefits of eating the right foods.
9. Better Information
Special needs parents need information.
They need to learn about how to care for their child and how to get the best care for their child from the medical, educational, and other services available.
These parents often spend long hours researching this on the internet or challenging professionals at consultations. Information is not always easy to get.
When it is available it may not be easily applied to the special needs case.
Want to Help Special Needs Parents?
Give the gift of time. Babysit or lend a hand. Be a shoulder to cry on and someone to laugh with too.
Tell special needs parents they’re doing a great job and treat them to lunch or a beer.
Take time out to learn how to engage with their special needs child and lend a hand with siblings too. Show others how to include a special needs child and encourage them to rally around.
Learn more about special needs children here.
